Wedding Memories
These jottings will be occasional and random and of course slightly edited to
protect the innocent as well as the guilty - with no reference to locations
or time span. As one would expect I have experienced most problems relating
to weddings but I am still surprised by the most common of them all - people!
I have so often been privileged to attend a marriage and to share in the happiness
and laughter but I have also been amused and bemused by events, and sometimes
saddened so much that I have shed a tear or two.
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Mum asks if I'm any good with waistcoats because Father has only just tried
it on and it's about 4 sizes too big. I straighten him up and grab about 4 inches
at the back which I then pinch together and fix with large safety pins, undo
his bottom button*, help him on with his jacket, pin on his button-hole-and
now he looks great!
* There is a tradition, originating some say from Henry V or more likely The
Prince of Wales, that the last button of a waistcoat is left undone. Both men
were portly and it seems that on one occasion either the button couldn't be
fastened or was overlooked. Their courtiers followed suit and the tradition
has continued to this day. However, the modern wedding waistcoat varies in the
cut and style and these days I feel that some styles look better fully buttoned.
The bride's home can be chaotic before the wedding. Having rung the doorbell,
the door is opened by the bride dressed only in a T shirt. "Come in. I'm
nearly ready" she says, "Just got to put the dress on " -as she runs up the
stairs in front of me. She's oblivious to the fact that she has no underwear!
I'm not very good with dogs (never allowed to have one). I knock on the door.
A voice responds "Is that you Gareth?" "Yes, Mrs. Williams". "Right - well the
dog is loose so take a step back and don't move when I open the door-I'll come
out and give you a hug then you can say "Hello", smile and come in!" The huge
German Shepherd didn't take it's eyes off me and followed me everywhere in the
house. I was glad to get out in one piece.
Each vicar, priest or minister has their own rules for taking photos inside
the church. They must be obeyed because more than likely I will be at that church
again. One vicar was paranoid about starting the ceremony on time. Waiting at
the church I knew the bride was late and I would have to forgo any pictures,
and as we walked up the path sure enough, the vicar was waiting in the doorway.
He was in such a hurry that he grabbed the bride to usher her inside, but all
he managed to do was to tear a large hole in her veil!
Some vicars don't allow a professional camera over the threshold of the church.
At a Cathedral once, I was not allowed to take any pictures inside, so as the
couple processed out I gritted my teeth as dozens of tourists happily flashed
away.
I remember a Catholic wedding where the couple were full of fun and just wanted
to enjoy the day with their guests, not too worried about the religious aspects.
It was odd, but the priest obviously disliked them and he rushed through the
ceremony which only took about 20 minutes instead of 45. Immediately after the
ceremony he sent us all out of the church grounds and locked the gates. I wonder
why he accepted the booking to perform the marriage?
I was early at a church that I worked at regularly and where I knew the vicar
and verger quite well. Not uncommonly, there was already a wedding in progress
and I was able to see the proceedings. I didn't recognise the photographer who
was moving around a lot taking pictures-not acceptable to that vicar! Suddenly,
the vicar stopped the ceremony and in no uncertain terms told the photographer
to leave and never to set foot in his church again! How embarrassing!
The groom was a sailor and arrived at the Registry Office in uniform, straight
from his ship complete with his kit-bag. The bride arrived by taxi and on stepping
out she saw the groom, burst into tears, threw her bouquet at him and shouted
"I never want to see you again you b******." They were hastily ushered into
a quiet room and some 20 minutes later the wedding proceeded as normal.
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